Promo / Sex on Fire / Event Description

PROOO MOOO, YOUR SEX IS ON FIIIIRE!

You probably want to put a damp cloth over it really love.

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Bonfire Night is the sexiest night of the year, FACT. Valentines is all well and good for that romance guff, but for a proper pulse racing, fire burning, primal occasion you can’t beat the 5th November. Raging fires, spectacular explosions, toffee so sticky it pulls your fillings out, and y’know, sparklers... frankly I’m surprised anybody keeps their pants on past midnight, if it wasn’t for the average November temperature anyway.

So Promo is embracing the saucier side of life this Bonfire Night with a bit of fun to help raise the temperatures inside as much as the fires earlier that evening will have done outside. For your pleasure we have; BURLESQUE stage shows, giant TWISTER (strip twister optional*), text to screen PORN NAME GAME, a CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN, best SEXY PHOTO COMPETITION and some exciting and SEDUCTIVE GIVEAWAYS.

And remember, as usual with Promo that’s all just the icing on the cake, or in this case the Guy on the bonfire, for the best student clubnight in town. More famous Promo drinks offers, DJs Gaz & Fran playing the anthems downstairs, and DJs Karl Yates & John Crossley mixing up the very best indie, electro & dubstep upstairs.

Tickets are on sale now, get yours now if you haven’t already.

(*Don’t do it, people will only take photos and put them on the internet for your mum to see.)

Promo / Halloween / On The Day Reminder

PROMO! Hall-o-ween... tonight! (You CAN pay on the door & The Whip are playing live)

Darkness falls across the land
The Promo hour is close at hand
Creatures crawl in search of Sourz
To terrorize and dance for hourz.

I'm gonna Promo tonight, ooh baby
I'm gonna Promo tonight, oh darlin'
Promo night, baby, ooh!

The greatest stench is in the air
The funk of forty thousand beers
And grizzly ghouls from many rooms
Are closing in to hear the tunes.

And as you start to feel alive
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere mortal can resist
A Promo dancefloor filler!

Ok, the last line lacks a little je ne sais quoi, and I don't know if the 'z' at the end of 'hourz' made you feel quite as uncomfortable as it did me, but what do you want from me... BLOOD?!

Shit, I should have gone with Little Shop of Horrors... incidentally, anyone shows up as a convincing Audrey II tonight and I will marry them and we'll live somewhere that's green, like a picture out of Better Homes & Gardens magazine.

I'm sorry, I'm babbling and you're very busy, but I do have an important message.

ADVANCE TICKETS FOR PROMO TONIGHT ARE JUST ABOUT SOLD OUT!

BUT NEVER FEAR, MY DEAR, GOOD NEWS IS HERE, FOR YOU TO HEAR

I'm particularly proud of rhyming 'here' with 'hear'.

YOU CAN PAY ON THE DOOR TONIGHT!!!!

Just get down early to make sure you don't miss out on the devilish fun.

DOORS OPEN 9.30PM

Some other fun facts about tonight.

1. The Whip are onstage in the club from about 11pm - DO NOT MISS

2. The Circus of Horrors Show will be live in Source from Midnight - BE PREPARED

3. Venue (Downstairs) Music: DJs (Gory) Gaz & Fran (Fang?) with the usual promo anthems and a terrifying seasonal twist.

4. Club (Upstairs) Eerie Indie, Electro(cution) and Monstrous Dubstep with Killer Karl Yates & John 'The Count' Crossley

5. Source: Resident (Evil) DJs, Circus of Horrors and more!

6. Fully decorated club, and prizes for the best costumes.

7. See you tonight!!

8. Mwah ha ha ha ha.. HA HA HA HA HA. HAAA HAAA HAAA HAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Underground Rebel Bingo / On The Day Reminder

It all kicks off in just a few hours? Not got a ticket? Don't fret, you CAN pay on the door, oh yes!

I swear this is the last message I send you about Underground Rebel Bingo Club. And I double swear it will be brief.

This message has two functions...

1. To let you know if you haven't managed to get a ticket for the most unqiue party of the year, don't worry, you can pay on the door at 53 Degrees tonight! And even better it's only £6NUS/£8 without. And that includes 2 bingo cars worth a quid each.

With prices like that and bottles of wine at £4.95 it doesn't make sense not to come to enjoy the most outrageous bingo of your life.

Doors open at 8pm, the games begin about 8.40pm. See you and your flashy pants there!!

2. I'm worried that some people, despite my frankly annoying messages, the notes our agents pinned to your doors, the mass hypnotism sessions we've been doing subliminally during Hollyoaks and all sorts of other things, that SOME PEOPLE still remain blissfully ignorant of the filth caked beauty of DIRTY HARDCORE BINGO!

So I ask you one final favour... take this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1UxnpoNCiw
... and post it upon your profile RIGHT NOW, and word it up with whatever smut or language you wish to.

Cheers chuckles.

See you tonight, 53 Degrees Club, 8.30pm.

P.S. It may be sign posted as a Health & Safety conference, to confuse the Feds, just stay safe and head in.

P.P.S. It wasn't that brief in the end. Shit.

Promo / Halloween / Event Description

HALLOWEEN PROMO IS SPONSORED BY SOURZ!
SOURZ AT JUST £1 ALL NIGHT!!

It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark
Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes
You're paralyzed

'Cause this is Promo!, Hall-o-ween
And no one's gonna save you from the beast about strike
You know it's Promo!, Hall-o-ween
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller Promo!

You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run
You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun
You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination, girl!
But all the while you hear the creature creeping up behind
You're out of time

'Cause this is Promo!, Hall-o-ween
There ain't no second chance against the thing with forty eyes, girl
Promo!, Hall-o-ween
You're partying for your life inside a killer, thriller Promo!

Night creatures calling, the dead start to walk in their masquerade...


Ahem.

I think I can stop there, you get the picture, I'm basically taking the words by the famous song 'Thriller', originally performed by the late Michael Jackson and changing them to suit our Halloween Promo.

I hope you enjoyed it, I know I did.

I'll tell you what else you'll enjoy (apart from this smooth link), Halloween Promo. And I'll tell you why... right now!

AMAZING FULLY DECORATED VENUE!
HALLOWEEN FANCY DRESS WITH PRIZES FOR THE BEST MALE & FEMALE!

THE WHIP - LIVE IN THE CLUB!

3 ROOMS OPEN!!!
In the Venue - R&B, Pop, Chart, & Dance Anthems
In the Club - The Best Indie, Electro & Dubstep
In Source - Circus of Horrors Freak Show

SOURZ - £1
WITCHES BREW - £1
SAMBOOOOOOCA - £1.25
APPLE BOBBING (CIDER) - £1.50

Tickets for this are £5NUS/£6PUBLIC and or on sale now from UCLan SU Reception, Source and all the usual Halls & Club Sellers.

It WILL SELL OUT, so it's frightfully important you get yours now.

Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Promo / Zing Zone / On The Day Reminder

It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that Zing!

and we do.



Promo got on the blower to a bunch of mates a while back, all full of beans, with a proposition..

'Hey, guys, you know this party I've been throwing on Thursdays, it's pretty cool y'know, loads of sound people come down and we have a dance, do the bunny and generally make with the good times, yeah?'

'Hell, yeah!' I imagine the friends shouted in unison, because conversations are always more fun if you imagine them as some kind of call and response audience interaction type affair.

'Well, I want you to come down and join in this week, you think you're up for that?'

'Hell, yeah!' they'll have replied again, because it' cheaper for the script if I only give them one line and make them repeat it.

AND SO WE HAVE IT - AT PROMO TONIGHT....

SOURZ
Are bringing their Zing Zone with amazing interactive I-Bar and I-Wall PLUS FREE SHOTS for those who get down while sticks last.

V.K.
Are sending their famous bus and street team down to entertain you and drape you with GIVEAWAYS.

and

COCKTAIL FACTORY
Are sending their splendidly well trained and charming bar staff down to mix you a selection of their cocktail menu at the exclusive PROMO PRICE of just £3.50 - check out the menu on this event for details!

and that's all on top of the usual anthems and dance music in the Venue downstairs and the impressive blend of Indie, Electro and Dubstep in the club upstairs. Should be excellent.

Tickets are still available at time of writing from all the usual outlets, SU Reception, Source and of course the halls and club sellers. And as ever we'll make sure we hold a few back for the door just in case you can't get down to pick your tickets up this afternoon.

Sorted, see you tonight!

Underground Rebel Bingo / Promotional Message

Dirty Hardcore Bingo is almost here! You excited? You want to get other people excited and earn cold

I woke up today and I felt joy! Then Joy pushed me way and I went to make toast instead.

Ba-dum tish.

I did though, as I opened my eyes to greet the fine Lancashire drizzle through my window I couldn't feel down, because I know what week this is, it's dirty hardcore bingo week!

Cripes.

5 days between now and Underground Rebel Bingo Club at 53 Degrees and the chance to win Retro sweets, light up ice cubes, salt & pepper mills shaped like rubik's cube, an umbrella that is also a light sabre and many other joyous things from iwantoneofthose.com

5 days till the let us loose in a room with music, booze, and marker pens.

5 days.

So this message has 3 purposes.

1) Tell you how excited I am about Underground Rebel Bingo Club and to get you excited about it too. DONE.

2) Tell you how to buy your tickets. Easy, go on www.lancashiretickets.com or call in at 53 Degrees Box Office, UCLan SU Reception, Fylde Rd. And if there's 10 or more of you coming email comedy@53degrees.net or call 01772 895477 for group booking details. DONE.

3) Tell you that your enthusiasm for 'dirty bingo on the down low' can earn you some cold hard cash. That's easy too. Message me back, or email comedy@53degrees.net, or even call me on 01772 895477 and say 'I'M WELL EXCITED ABOUT DIRTY BINGO, SO MUCH SO I CAN'T HELP BUT WANT TO SELL TICKETS FOR IT.' I won't think you're weird, much, I'll arrange a meeting and give you some tickets, you keep £1 commision on every ticket you sell, and if you sell 10 or more... you go to the bingo for free.

You only have 5 days though, so do it now.. right now.

DONE AND DOUBLE DONE.

I look forward to recruiting you.

This message will explode if you pour water on your computer.

Promo / Zing Zone / Event Description

Tomorrow's clubbing, today.

Not content with bars that just stand there, being still, holding drinks, propping you up, all inanimate and shit, Promo has been on a search for something more.

'I WANT SOMETHING NEW, SOMETHING DIFFERENT, SOMETHING... INTERACTIVE!' yelled Promo 'MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!'

Promo can be pretty hard-nosed first thing in the morning you see, but we love it, so we do the bidding.

We called Sourz..

'Sourz mate, you gotta help us out here, Promo wants something special, I don't know what do do...'

"Relaaaaax' said Sourz, who was probably already drunk, 'I've got just the thing, you leave it with me, I'll sort you out.'

And so they sent us this thing they call... The Zing Zone

Sounds like a futuristic game show, but in fact contains the newest and most animated in bar technology.

We bring you...

The I-Bar
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVf2_nHxIXc

& I-Wall
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTl_YNSD7gM

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL

We know AMAZING INTERACTIVE GIANT TOUCHSCREEN FURNITURE might not melt everybody's butter, so for those people we've invited a special guest bar down.

THE COCKTAIL FACTORY
Preston's cocktail gurus are bringing down their talent and building a special cocktail bar, in Promo, just for you guys. And, as Dr Cox would say, here's the kicker.. them drinks will be at Promo Prices (full details to follow shortly)

and all this is obviously on top of your usually Promo tunes and the fantastic indie, electro, RnB room upstairs in the club.

Get your tickets, plan your outfits, make your requests, see you Thursday.

x

Promo / Neon Rave / Delphic / On The Day Reminder

RAVE.NEON.DELPHIC.PROMO.TONIGHT!!! (You CAN pay on the door... if you're on the ball!)

"You are rave promo, my own rave promo
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know rave, how much I love you...
...please don't take rave promo away!"

Wa'choo talkin' about? Ain't nobody gonna take Rave Promo away fool, it's happening, it's happening tonight and it's gonna be a sell out!

As a lazy sports commentator might say before a big game... the excitement is palpable, you can just tell, this is gonna be a big one...

NEON RAVE PROMO!!
AND
DELPHIC! LIVE IN THE CLUB!

As many of you are probably already finding out, advance tickets for tonight have become like Wonka's Golden Tickets in the last few hours.

But don't worry if you haven't got one, there's no need for tears, no need at all...

YOU CAN PAY ON THE DOOR!!!

We have a limited number of spaces left for people paying on the door, we can only squeeze so many in though, so recommendation is if you haven't got a ticket you need to get down early. Doors are at 9.30pm so we suggest you get here a little before that to be safe.

And remember ticket holders, they're only valid until a certain time. £2.50 tickets need to be in by 10.30pm, £4 tickets by 11pm. Don't leave it too late.. not tonight.

NEON.RAVE.NEON.PARTY.DELPHIC.RAVE.NEON.RAVE.NEON.PARTY.DELPHIC

Promo / Neon Rave / Event Description

RAVE PROMO RAVE PROMO RAVE PROMO RAVE PROMO!!!

Rave Promo is always a sell out, a sea of neon in 53 Degrees as downstairs goes 90s Rave all night this Thursday (15th Oct), get your tickets fast, DO NOT miss out on this.

LAZERS, UV & STROBE LIGHTS
FREE GLOWSTICKS ON ENTRY (while stocks last)
Double Vodka Red Bull - £2.50
Glow Worm Cocktail - £2.75/pint
DOuble Smirnoff - £1.75
VK - £1.30
Corkeys - £1

BUT!!!

This is no ordinary Rave Promo, this year we’ve got something extra special upstairs in the club for you. DELPHIC, ‘A thrilling mix of synth bands like Depeche Mode and Kraftwerk , but laced with Hi-NRG dance, ‘90s rave, the rock sensibilities of Bloc Party and, yes, the lingering shadow of The Hacienda, New Order and Factory Records. ‘ The hottest tipped band of the moment and the perfect live guests for Rave Promo, just upstairs in the Club room!

This is a genuine case of a band you need to see now before you have to see them with thousands of other people in a big shed. Singles ‘This Momentary’ and ‘Counterpoint’ have set the critics buzzing, NME describe them as ‘Manchester’s best new hopes’ and the debut album in the new year is tipped to completely explode. Check them out at www.delphic.cc then make sure you’re in the club room to catch their set.

Music policy in the club before and after the band is the best indie, electro & dubstep all night from DJs Karl Yates and John Crossley, a great alternative to the rave downstairs!

Student tickets on sale now from SU Reception, Source, Halls Reps & Club Sellers.

Public Tickets also available from SU Reception & www.lancashiretickets.com

BUY NOW - DO NOT MISS OUT ON AN AWESOME PROMO OR ON THE INCREDIBLE DELPHIC!

Promo / Sambuca Sessions / On The Day Reminder

It's Promo Time

Aww yeah

That`s right.

Tonight we`re gonna go to Promo. You know how I know? `Cause it`s Thursday. And Thursday night is the night that we go to Promo. Wednesday night`s the night that we go and visit your mother, but Thursday night is the night that we go to Promo. `Cause everything is just right conditions are perfect. There`s nothing good on TV. Conditions are perfect. You lean in close and say something like, "I might go to bed I`ve got lectures in the morning." I know what you`re trying to say. You`re trying to say, "Oh, yeah. It`s Promo time. It`s Promo time."

Looking like another big one tonight for Sambuca Sessions at Promo, tickets have been selling fast all day but if you haven't got yours yet don't worry, you'll still be ok to pay on the door.

DJs Gaz & Fran doing your anthems, dance, RnB, pop and more downstairs. DJs Karl & John upstairs with the best Indie, Electro & Dubstep.

Sambuca at £1, Ice Luges, Stilt Walkers, Promo Drinks Prices, Laughter, Adventure, Moonlight, Music, Love and Romance, let's face the music, and dance...

See you at 53 Degrees tonight!

Underground Rebel Bingo / Promotional Message

You love dirty hardcore bingo and drawing on people! You want it for free?

You received an invitation to Underground Rebel Bingo Club and you clicked 'Hell yes, I want some of that shit!' You're probably sat now clutching your bingo pen, staring feverishly at the screen just waiting for somebody to shout a number at you, with clever rhyme to accompany it, in constant bingo readiness.

Or perhaps you're wondering who this clown is that's taking up your precious time with a message and you in fact just click 'Attending' to everything and have no idea what on earth is going on and how you got involved in this whole mess.

Either way, I have an offering for you. Underground Rebel Bingo Club at 53 Degrees is going to be amazing, 100s of people, marker pen in one hand, drink in another, making a mess of each others arms, legs, and faces while they try to win prizes from IWantOneofThose.com...

And I have the power to give this to you, the enthusiastic, for FREE!!!

How? Simple. Book ten tickets at once through me at you get 1 FREE.

Tickets are £6nus/£8 in advance, and these include your first two bingo cards*

So round up your mates, start your own facebook event, go round their houses and explain calmly why they should get into the dirty bingo, if that doesn't work, shout at them till they cry.

Don't do that, it's nasty.

Then buy your batch of tickets by messaging me here, emailing rcarlton@uclan.ac.uk or calling me at work on 01772 895477. It's 1 free in every ten, so manage 20 of you and bob is your uncle and your dad.

If you need any flyers/posters/cards/catalogues from me to help you on your mission all you have to do is ask.

This facebook message will explode if you pour water on your computer.

Bingo Russ Bingoing Out

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*Just £1 each after that

Promo / Sambuca Sessions / Event Description

If you missed last weeks Beach Party, you missed out, have you seen the pictures? Amazing.

This Thursday at Promo? Sambuca Sessions.

All flavours of Sambuca just £1. That's alright for a kick off. And that's alongside the usual great Promo prices.

You can win Sambuca T-Shirts too, so you can demonstrate your love of the sticky stuff to all who see you. Or maybe just draw all over them, as is the fashion of the time.

Then there's these Ice Luges, I had to google it, but I've led a sheltered life. Life size ice sculptures, male and female torsos in fact, with a erm.. channel through the middle, from top to bottom, tequila goes in at the head end, comes out nice, cold and onto your tastebuds at the fun end.

There should be more theatre in drinking, there should be more theatre in life.

Upstairs in the club we've got The Morning Parade live alongside more top indie, electro and dubstep from Karl and John.

Downstairs Gaz & Fran will keep the big anthems, RnB, dance and pop going all night.

Oh and there'll be stilt walkers, so you can spend the night pretending you're really small.

NUS EARLY BIRD £2.50 X 300 VALID BEFORE 10.30PM
NUS STANDARD ADV £4 - VALID BEFORE 11PM
PUBLIC £6 ADV - VALID BEFORE 11PM